a road less travelled..... will you be with me?

sketch!

2007-08-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

My frail attempt at making namecards for myself.. augh.
Tell me which is nice and professional enough to make it to the printers.

katze blogs

2007-08-05T07:12:00.000-07:00

purr..
i was minding my own business at a coffeeshop when some weirdo tried to take a picture of me.

eh... don't give me food still take photo of me?!?

*frowns* still take somemore!?!

oh.. katze is cat in german =)

cheers

2007-07-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

2007-06-16T07:51:00.000-07:00

Here's the view from my office. Nice eh?

On wednesdays, there will be NDP rehearsals and everyone will like run to the windows to catch the apache helicopters going through their stunts, plus all the fastcrafts and stuff.

bitten by the blogging bug

2007-06-05T04:04:00.000-07:00

i'm back !!
postings and pictures coming soon.

the forgotten past..

2006-09-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

welcome and goodbye...

jiayou

2006-09-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

Picture courtesy of http://stickgal.blogspot.com

Yeah.. i really do need some of it..

i need focus.. my mind has been a bitch... keeps drifting away....

argh.

late night

2006-09-05T09:19:00.000-07:00

Actually took time off to blog awhile instead of studying.

I really hope that my hours invested in studying is productive. My mind is like a spoilt brat.. constantly wandering off to other trivial matters and losing focus on the job at hand. That is one bad habit of mine.. right now.. i've succumbed to the perils of blogging.

Right now.. getting good results is not an option anymore.. it's a must. If not, i wonder how do i compete on an even footing with business graduates from the local universities? It's a long and arduous road to that coveted first class honours.. the process will be tough .. but the results will be sweet. I've already sweetened my resume with those 3 CMFAS certificates.. and probably a CFA before i graduate. And even probably a note-worthy internship which i do not have the priviledge of being offered one and have to source around.. crap.

I'm grateful for my friends and brothers/sisters in Christ for their encouragement.. the walk is definitely more manageable with you guys around. Thank Lord for the encouragement and grace granted to me. Right now.. working hard is important, but most importantly is not to be consumed by it.

Hang in there. The results will be sweet.

strawberry smiles for singapore

2006-08-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

This one cracks me up..

Apparently Kurosaki Ichigo will be welcoming the world with other 4 million people also. Probably there are hollows among the foreign delegates..

He doesn't seem very happy does he?

Bankai!

Disillusioned

2006-08-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

Finally got back my pink IC on tuesday.. Yes, i ORD'd. Most people would have been extremely happy on that occasion, but however.. i don't feel anything. I don't really feel exactly very happy or anything when i was handed back my civilian status, i was just nonchanlant about it.

Looking back at the times where i saw people ORD'd ahead of me and seeing their happy faces, i wondered if i would be the same or even happier when it was my turn. But i just don't feel anything at all when finally, it came to me. Having served 2 years in that place, i've left an emotional stigma to it. I'm just too used to it.. i abhore change.

I once took a personality test recently (not the online kind) during my workshops and i was indentified to be a SC personality type (forgot what that means). Basically, a SC person doesn't take risks, hate changes, adhere closely to tested and safe methods of doing things. Maybe i should learn to take more risks.

That includes taking a risk with my course right now. Sometimes however, i just don't see the point of continueing on. Sociology just doesn't grab me as much as investments, derivatives trading, fundamental analysis do. I don't see the money in it.. frankly speaking. Sociology is the art of questioning and problematizing everyday trivial matters that is usually taken for granted. I really don't care about questioning matters, if it works fine... stick with it. Same as fundamental analysis of stocks, stick to the basis of value investment.. and invest.

I'm holding on too tight.

unit trusts... can trust?

2006-07-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

Why should one buy a unit trust?

1 - Professional management
2 - Diversification of risks(depending on which fund you invest into)
3 - No active monitoring needed/ convenience
4 - Liquidity
5 - Low capital requirement
6 - Access to foreign markets
7 - Hedge against inflation

These benefits would look enticing to the layman as little effort on their part is required. One can invest into unit trusts by way of fundsupermart (and also some other sites like dollardex..) or just by setting up a CPF investment account to invest your CFP monies. An individual seeking to invest with a small capital would be able achieve risk diversification in unit trusts than to invest in individual stocks with a large capital outlay to achive the same level of diversification. A busy investor might not able to fork out the time to monitor individual stocks, therefore by investing into these mutual funds, he is able to delegate this job to the professional fund managers.

However having said all this, one must also remember that unit trusts come with charges. There is no free lunch in this world. You want the services of the so-called professional fund mangers, you better jolly well pay for it. An investor should take the time to go through the charges of the fund, e.g front-end fees, switching fees, redemption fees, management fees and so on. Sometimes the expense ratio of the fund might just eat into any profits you might have.

I have always have a distaste for unit trusts. Why should i let somebody manage my money for me? Fund managers will still earn their salaries no matter how good or bad their fund is performing. They usually get bonuses for beating the market and prehaps nothing more than a slap on the wrist for the opposite. In order to earn more bonuses, they will be tempted once and time again to beat the market by buying foolishly. Yes.. they will start to speculate. Why should an investor let somebody speculate his money away?

We have all seen the emerging markets funds, china/india funds, korea funds and so on.. let's use the china/india fund as an example. There are 2 companies that manages their own china/india fund, the chances are that the 2 fund managers (assuming that they have the same level of expertise) from their respective companies will be buying the same stocks for their china/india fund. How differently composed will the fund be from other fund houses? This is akin to the 'herding effect' where all the sheep start to move in the similar direction directed by the shephard. The fund managers will all be buying into more or less similar stocks like the other have been buying and this will cause the stocks to be grossly over-valued. As time goes by when the stock price corrects itself, investors will start to see the drop. I liken unit trusts to lemmings who flung themselves over the cliff in a herd.

Funds can also be either close-ended or open-ended. For close-ended funds, they will be closed to the investment public once a certain time/limit is reached and vice versa for open-ended funds. With open-ended funds, money from investors will always be pouring in and the question is that what if a rumour sparked a mass public buying of the fund? With the huge influx of money in the fund manager's hands, he can either 1) buy into the good stocks he already has (thus over-valueing them) or 2) buy into other stocks that he would never had thought of buying in the first place. Either way, they are detrimental to the fund's performance. With close-ended funds, the fund manager will only have that limited pool of money to move around with and the speculation risk is reduced. He can buy into good stocks by selling under-performing stocks, doesn't that sounds better?

For me as a value investor, i would rather buy into a index fund than a unit trust. An index fund manager is restricted only to the stocks of that particular index, and thus the speculative risk is lessened. Therefore the performance of the index fund is pegged to the index and over the long term, the returns although small, will move upwards. A close-ended index fund would be best.

In short, a value investor goes for long term gains, not speculative short term gains.

some fun stuff

2006-07-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

I'm pleasantly surprised.

Very Well-Rounded
You have:
70% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and
62% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the left represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.)

Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake.

Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

have fun people, with this test. Take it with a pinch of salt.

Change

2006-06-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

I'm averse to change.

After wearing green and doing the same work and be darn good at it (even better than my predecessors) for 2 years, the prospect of having to get out into the real world and start all over again irks me. No matter how much i loathe the army and the meagre allowance that it pays for people that work harder than the ocifers (officers :P), where else in Singapore is there a job that pays you to go for morning runs, random gym sessions, free meals, tax-free beer and the multiple canteen breaks? Although the workload i handle is stressful and it never ends, at least to me, i became so used to it that it's numb.

I really do feel like a fish being put into a new fishtank.

At least at times like this, it's comforting to know that you have somebody to turn to.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matt 6:34

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matt 11:28-30

Amen.

Foobar

2006-06-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

Actually the actual spelling would be 'Fubar'. Seen this word being used extensively in the movie 'Saving Pte Ryan' and a search on Wikipedia and Wiktionary turned up some really interesting stuff.

This word orginated as a slang in the US Army during the second world war. If only it could replace the hokkien obscenities in the SAF. Then we would sound much more civilized or would we? Its still obscenities anyway.

business inspirations

2006-06-10T09:35:00.000-07:00

words of wisdom from cobalt paladin.

Don't ever let people convince you that you can't do it because they can't. Don't limit your potential based on other peoples expectations. Realise your own potential. Believe in your dreams. You have yourself to answer to.

How so true.

cycling inspirations

2006-05-20T02:47:00.000-07:00

I always wished to own a roadbike... biking around singapore in the wee hours..

I'm inspired to bike!

fun with speech bubbles

2006-05-13T04:59:00.000-07:00

ya... where to next leh?

Rally point

2006-05-08T06:20:00.000-07:00

http://cobaltpaladin.blogspot.com/2006/05/rally.html

My point exactly.

The big divide

2006-05-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

After some observation and thoughts about the coming elections, i thought i might as well pen down some of my 2 cents worth of views. I'm a very neutral party fyi :)i could be generalising and making sweeping statements.. but please take my views with a pinch of salt.

Here goes..

In my frank opinion, there are 2 groups of people or rather voters out there. The high income group and the middle/low income group. The high income group votes for the government and the middle/low income group votes for the opposition.

Why is that so? Basically, the middle/low income group (i shall call them the financially displaced group, poor doesn't sound nice i think :P)is sick and tired of being poor and being harassed by rising transportation, GST, education, utilities costs and the like. Therefore when somebody (opposition) promises cheaper bills, free HDB upgrading, naturally as bees to honey, the financially displaced group votes for the opposition.

The 2nd group, the financially intelligent group votes for the government. Why? Because they have utmost confidence in a government that is able to bring Singapore from 3rd world to 1st world in such a relatively short space of time as compared to our neighbours, a government that is able to create a vibrant society and economic stability to attract foreign investors and a stable political environment (as compared to countries with 50-50 ruling party/oppositions where they spend all their time trying to sabo each other and fist fights each other in parliament). This financially intelligent group with their financial wisdom and work smart attitude are able to expliot this stable and diverse financial playing field that the government has provided. Thus the financially intelligent group are able to reap great dividends from this and of course, will they complain?

On the other hand, the financially displaced group only knows how to complain and whine about their present situation without taking any serious action to change their current lifestyle. (Look at the number of coffeeshop aunties/uncles at the opposition rallies). They never make use of the skills upgrading packages offered to them, some never even make the effort and some already condemned it as crap even before attempting to try it out. Some even give excuses like 'oh, i'm too old to learn' or 'It's just another scheme by the government to make us pay more'. So, in general, the financially displaced group only knows how to sit around and bitch about the current state of affairs without doing anything realistic. They are concerned only about the present, not the future. They only want things to be free and cheap, even at the expense of losing our country's competitiveness in the global playing field, this mentality in turns breeds laziness and over-dependence on the government. All in all, this will only serves to cheapen our 1st world country to the point of being similar to.. (need i elaborate more?)

In summary, the financially intelligent group is independant and is wise enough to make things happen for himself instead of just loafing around and waiting for things to happen. The financially displaced group is of course, sitting around, buying 4-D and hoping for a windfall.

If i were to vote, i will vote for the party that is able to give me a stable political scene; and a diverse financial and social environment for me to grow my talents.

That's my 2 cents.

falling rain

2006-04-03T07:34:00.000-07:00

The rain just keeps falling..

It was raining when my colleague informed me that he recieved the acceptance letter for accountancy..

It was raining when darren said that he recieved the acceptance letter for business...

It was raining when i finally finished my work today.... only to open an empty letter box.

Work never ends nowadays.. im juggling 2 person workloads now. Whoever said an old bird life is supposed to be easygoing? i beg to differ.

Rest

2006-03-28T06:50:00.000-08:00

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matt 11:28-30

Hallelujah.

iGod

2006-03-24T19:19:00.000-08:00

Somebody came up with the software version of God.. i'm tickled.

Me: hello
God: Hello my child. What is your name?
Me: that will be aloysius
God:" Hello my child. What is your name?" will be aloysius ? Does that make sense?
Me: no
God: Are you serious?
Me: yes very
God: I can't believe it. Very much, eh?
Me: neither do i
God:" I can't believe it. Very much, eh?"? neither?
Me: haha
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, aloysius

haha..
Have fun people :)

of the bull and bear

2006-03-24T07:16:00.000-08:00

Right now... i'm getting bullish on caffeine and bearish on information intake into my brain..

argh

Caffeinated

2006-02-27T07:50:00.000-08:00

I couldn't read a book properly at night after work. I'm the kind that don't sleep at work.. i regard it as unproductive (exceptions do happen sometimes tho). So after work on weekdays.. my brain will shutdown after dinner. So in order to read my book properly.. i went to macs to get a coffee. Now i can't sleep liao.

So i shall revise on what i had read earlier on. Investment vs Speculation

The next time somebody tells me buying 4D or ToTo is an investment.. i will not hesitate to smack the daylights out of him/her. As quoted from Benjamin Graham, an investment operation is one which upon thorough analysis promises safety of principal and an adequate return. Operations not meeting these requirements are speculative. And you tell me gambling is an investment?!

In an investment, there has to be a margin of safety. Is there any in buying 4D? The odds are always for the house against you. The probability of striking 4D is practically like 0.01. How big is that for a reasonable margin of safety? much less to mention even an adequate return.

Buying 4D/ToTo and the like are just speculative operations based mainly on luck. You may be lucky once.. twice... but forever? Just like people claim that the betting outlet at yishun is lucky.. please, its just because there are more people buying there thus driving up the probability that a winning ticket might emerge there. The outlet is lucky.. i don't think so. I'm exasperated by the fact that some people keep whining about how the garmen is sucking our hard-earned money when they are the exact same people offering money to the government on the platter by way of singapore pools. Fools never learn. hee.. :P

think i shall go lie on the bed and try to sleep.

test..

2006-02-19T08:50:00.000-08:00

Do this for me? hee

http://kevan.org/johari?name=aloysiusissy

Gracias

2006-02-18T05:17:00.000-08:00

First of all, i want to thank all of you for that wonderful time at Altivo last night. Love the place, love the ambience, love that time of bonding, love the cake, love the present and love the waterfall for making me cry *sob*

I love you guys :)

The waterfall didn't really turn out as expected though. I though at least they would stack it up and have a nice cascade of flames. Felt like i was drinking a lambo. Anyway that waterfall was the nastiest concoction i ever drank, and to think i added an extra shot of neato' barcadi 151. The heat really goes down your throat and i nearly gagged.. and i cried. argh. well.. i'm lucky birthdays only comes once a year. up next is little fiona's birthday.. how should we celebrate for you? hee :)

22 years of age and i can only pray for myself to constantly gain spiritual and financial wisdom.. and for you guys to be happy and in the pink of health.

Amen.

Everything in its time

2006-02-16T06:13:00.000-08:00

Tried to do the application for NUS again last night. After some honest soul searching and dying of brain cells, finally came up with 3.. yes 3 essays. But then i can't submit the application liaoz.. cos the webbie say so.. that i've already submitted once already, so no duplicate applications.

ok.. crapz.

As for the NTU application, i put all my neccessary documents, nothing fanciful tho.. into a nice clear folder.. i even printed out the address to stick on the envelope. But then i stick it abit slanted... crap. Then i stick the stamp slanted too... oh crap.

Bad omens.

Argh.

the year of the meow

2006-02-03T20:58:00.000-08:00

I tell you, dogs are evil... meooorrww!!

ideas

2006-01-18T05:57:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, time and money need not necessarily be spent on movies, clubbing or just wandering aimlessly around town all the time.

One can still enjoy a fun game e.g. 'Taboo' together at someone place once in a while.. mm.. i still have a bottle of absolut vodka to expend.

lost time

2006-01-06T22:10:00.000-08:00

time certainly does wait for no man.
21 years of existance on this material world have lapsed and i have already passed a quarter of an average human lifespan. Looking back at yesteryears, i pondered on what have i achieved. Sadly, i have no noteworthy achievements. Some people at my age have already became entreprueners of their own dreams and abilities, some have already achieved financial freedom through wise financial planning and investment know-how and some have already carved out a niche for themselves in the area that they are best skilled in. Regretfully, i don't belong to that niche of people as of the moment. I'm always a jack of all trades but a master of none. But i too belive in a reversal of fortunes, i've always told myself to make it big and be somebody or otherwise, be forever down and out. I've learnt that lesson in the army, history shall not repeat itself again.

Time could be better spent upgrading oneself than just lazing around. It does not breed productivity and knowledge, it only serves to degrade one's abilities over time.

Time is certianly not on our side, therefore make full use of it.

Live happy and fulfilling lives.

Got my <$1200 worth license today. It really feels like striking lottery.

happy new year people

2006-01-01T02:09:00.000-08:00

2005 has vanished in a bat of an eyelid. It's the time of the year where people start making new year resolutions. I chose to make none.
When does people keep new year resolutions anyway? i kept none of mine. No matter what kind of resolutions people come up with, e.g to treat people better this year, not losing temper easily.. so on and so forth.. do people really adhere to them? People still behave and do whatever they want, just like they used to be in yesteryears. Its always about doing things my way, your way .. but never in God's way.
This year, God's words shall be my resolutions. Amen.

There are some things that i wished to do this year though. Seriously.

1 - Take up a watersport.
2 - Find a job that would contribute to my learning and that i would be happy doing.
3 - 21 km at the Standard Chartered Marathon.
4 - Roadbiking.
5 - The beginnings of my portfolio.
6 - Getting to know the Punjers more.

Happy New Year People.. :)

smalltalk

2005-12-22T06:10:00.000-08:00

a small chit chat session with our pilot-to-be in Perth.

holy holy holy is the lord of hosts says:
hey
everything in its time says:
hows trainin?
holy holy holy is the lord of hosts says:
quite ok la...now base closure only flew one flight simulator since i came
everything in its time says:
so do notin so far?
holy holy holy is the lord of hosts says:
sai kang and prepare for flights when base opens
holy holy holy is the lord of hosts says:
as well as going out to the nearby mini cities on wkends
everything in its time says:
so.. basically quite enjoyable..
everything in its time says:
and still earnin $2000
everything in its time says:
i work like a dog and earn $520..
everything in its time says:
my eyes!!

If not for my eyes, i would be in Perth now too.

horrors

2005-12-08T05:33:00.000-08:00

Bought a Timberland polo shirt recently, looks nice doesn't it?

Happily put it in the laundry to be washed..

and

oh horrors...

My Timberland polo shirt lengthen into a one-piece skirt..or pinafore!!!.. or whatever you call them.. and it costs me $63!!!!!!!!!!!

'si liao la!! how come my polo shirt become skirt? its Timberland, mind you.. not some lala-land off some pasar malam store!..why?!?'

Looking on the bright side, i still retain the reciept.. :) hopefully would be able to exchange for a new one... i hope.

bon voyage

2005-12-01T05:05:00.000-08:00

Was at the airport early this morning to see good ol' jiaming off to his basic wing course in Perth, the land of kangeroos or is it koalas? mm.. nevermind.. :P
10 months of flying.. can a man possibly ask for more? spicing it up with fully-paid monthly salary, flying allowances, warm clothing allowances, 1-man bunks that resembles a hotel room, swimming pools and red wine that cost cheaper than coca-cola! woah man.. thats helluva orgasm.

well, i only got my eyes to blame..

Give that man a beer! for making it thus far!

hail

2005-11-29T05:11:00.000-08:00

Hail to the lowest lifeform in the whole of SAF, where your opinions will not make a difference, your hard work shall be ignored and your existence shall cease to exist.

caution

2005-11-23T21:20:00.000-08:00

Once in a while, the temptation to post something stupid is too great.

the pianist

2005-11-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

Here, Mr Miyagi takes a lighter moment of the whole "siam NS" issue that appeared in the Sunday Times.

‘Eh, um, nah, give you $5,000.000, you don’t call me for NS, ok? I’m not free’.

‘Not free? Why?’

‘Um, I playing piano in London, dowan to come back liao’.

‘Nabeh! Next time terrorist attack, me and my NS unit don’t protect you then you know! Chow Piano Player!’

Upon reading this story in the Sunday Times, i couldn't help but feel a tad sorry for the guys in detention barracks who kena charged for absence without official leave (awol). Kudos to the teacher who said the pianist had already done his duty for his country by being a world-acclaimed panist. I wonder what happens to the ordinary man in the street who attempts the same stunt?

I also couldn't help wanting to try the same stunt on my chief clerk on ORD day.

'err..mdm.. here is $5000, please dounch call me back for ICT okay?'

'eh.. why le?'

'dunno le.. i tink i wan to go london play piano liao..'

'#$@ you!!'

tsk tsk..

wPods

2005-11-16T19:15:00.000-08:00

i told myself never to get an iPod.. or any other sort of mp3 players. Unless of course if i was given one but that would be highly unlikely in any circumstances :)

Audience: "why le?"

Simple.. it does not suit my lifestyle.

Firstly, being the law-abiding, obedient soldier i am (yah right), thou shalt not bring any form of memory recording devices into camp or thou shalt face the wrath of the regiment's shortest man (RSM).

Secondly, why do i need a ipod at home for? theres always the antique radio and im always the firm supporter of CDs.

Lastly, the real selling point of iPods and other mp3 players is that "music on the move". Yah.. sure.. but please change the earphones to something wireless? i can't stand putting my Ipod into my handbag/backpack/pocket/underwear and then having wires dangling around me when im on the move. Sitting on the bus/train listening to the Ipod is fine, but then when its time to alight, the dangling problem starts again. If i want to listen to good music, i don't want to stop halfway and keep my Ipod when i want to get off the bus/train. My music must keep playing on.

If there can be bluetooth wireless technology for handphones, why not for Ipods/mp3 players? With that, i can go for a jog without my earphone wires dangling around me with every step and getting them slick with sweat. That comes to the title of this post, the wPod. the waterproofPod.

With that i can groove to good music anytime, anywhere, while i'm swimming, wakeboarding or even being plummetted by torrential rains.

nevermind.. i think i'm dreaming again :)

reflections

2005-11-06T20:20:00.000-08:00

If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off in the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of the righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them.
2 Peter 2:20-21

Pastor Chris's sermon this week really made me think about myself ever since i became a christian. Sometimes i really wonder have i really protrayed myself as a God-fearing christian and shown the qualities of a good christian? Have i done anything that are not pleasing to the eyes of God? Have i replaced God with the idolatry of material gains, adulteries and other worldly pleasures? Have i always placed God in the centrestage of my life?

At times, sadly i admit i've not done so.

Of them the proverbs are true: "A dog returns to its vomit," and, "A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud."
2 Peter 2:22

I'm thankful to Pastor Chris for bringing this up and reminding myself of the importance of not excluding God from my everyday life and i'm also thankful to the rest of the punjers for the constant encouragment to continue growing in the faith and knowledge of God's words in my daily life where we tend to be easily distracted and discouraged by work, people and other circumstances.

Although i'm currently into investment and the like in order to gain financial knowledge and freedom, i pray that i will not come to the point where God no longers takes centrestage and i will not replace God with the idolatry of Donald Trump/Warren Buffett etc. Amen.

feline buddy

2005-11-04T22:00:00.000-08:00

play with muffins while you are here okie?.. keep her entertained :) or else.. hrmph!

how much is your blog worth?

2005-10-30T21:00:00.000-08:00

My blog is worth $3,387.24.
How much is your blog worth?

how pathetic.. clearly shows that my blog is only accessed by a small community.. and i'm thankful for that.. better than none. if only i can convert that to money.

sound bites

2005-10-30T00:40:00.000-07:00

just got this album by olivia ong.. im speechless.. its good.
she's a singaporean who went to japan at the age of 15 to go into the music scene.. if i remember correctly...
i thought this album was on bossa nova.. but i guess it must be the first album.

anyway.. its worth the buy :)

Google Earthie

2005-10-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

Hadn't had such fun since sim city :)

You can basically check out all the places in the world that you have never been before! i've checked out the himalayas.. grand canyon.. korea... brisbane... so on and so forth.. I can even see the number of planes parked at changi airport.. wahaha.. and even the kind of planes parked at paya lebar air base... opps.. ermm.. !! maybe the authorities would like to do something about this.

anyway, just check it out.

time drawer

2005-10-07T23:30:00.000-07:00

Everyone should know that the concept of having a time capsule is to basically dump in stuff like newspapers cuttings..photos.. momentos and the like ... and to bury/seal it up somewhere and then to open it up like 50 years later to order to reminisce in the nostagic moments of the past.

I just open up my own time capsule.. or rather my time drawer after like prehaps 5 - 8 years of just dumping and dumping stuff in it indifferently. I think my drawer is much better qualified to be a rubbish dump than anything else.

But anyway, opening up my drawer and shifting through its contents really evokes some nostalgic moments. I found that ever since secondary school, i've accumulated more than 20 over birthday, chinese new year and christmas cards..!

Some of them dated back as far to 1998! Reading them makes me feel kind of... good. haha.. thanks to all those who have sent me cards, your cards will always be appreciated by me and will not be thrown away! :)

Present in my drawer were also photos of my secondary school days.. poly days.. haiz.. sure bring back memories. Looking at the pictures of my friends in secondary school, i wondered how i've lost contact with some of them.. and i wondered how are they doing now.. mm..

Do you have a drawer like me that you can open too? :) If you do.. why not open them up and you might be able to find some surprises and memories in store for you.

weird thoughts

2005-10-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

I've been dreaming wierd dreams a lot lately. Dreams that do not make sense at all have recently been disturbing my sleep like an incessant plague. It never fails to woke me up feeling wierd.. mentally disturbed.. thinking.. what the heck?!? Afterwhich, the moment my head is plopped back onto the pillow, the dreams carry on like an unfinished legacy.

But the good thing is i can't recall any of them now... not like i want to anyway.

I've been thinking.. how do you find out how many friends you have now? Some people would check their indispensible mobile phone's contacts list or even friendster comes into play here.

The easiest way is actually to die.. and see who turns up at your funeral. You might even see those that you thought never cared less about you turning up. Or that heartless jerk that you have always hated weeping for you. Or faces that seem unfamilar to you and yet make it a point to turn up. And even those that you might have expected to turn up... not turn up at all.

Oh my.. what a wierd thought.
don't worry people.. i'm still sane :)

imode

2005-09-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

you just need to spend 10 minutes of your life doing this simple survey and stand to win some prizes and get to know more about the starhub imode phone.. kewl.
clickie here..

and it evens come with a simple personality analysis at the end.. cute .. heres mine.

Life affirming wisdom seeker

You understand that new does not always mean better and you see no reason to skip from one fad to the next. You value things that have stood the test of time, things that have proved themselves. You hate to kill time? that would be cruel, and after all, every moment is precious. You are fully aware that life is a one lap race. You like to enjoy every moment, getting lots out of life, because you put lots in.

You love to be right, and take great pains to avoid ever being wrong. You can be compulsively rational and some see you as a perfectionist. You tend to listen to your "inner critic", your inner set of standards that tends to be quite rigorous, and independent of what other people tell you. Hence, you are often very self-critical, and sometimes critical of others as you expect the same high standards of others that they have imposed on yourselves. Often your this energy is channeled into discipline, organization, a strong work ethic and a love of fairness, justice, and truth

brainfood

2005-09-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

My current brainfood at the moment besides my everyday reading of other miscellaneous stuff..

It explores and investigates one particular issue that all of us face and grapple with at some point in our lives. Why do innocent and righteous people suffer while the wicked and unscrupulous get away with their crimes and live lavishly? Why does God allow this to happen? Why is God not doing anything to make things right? Why does the unrighteous who does not even care less about God seem to have all the good things in life? I belive all of us face this kind of injustice at some point of time. Like the co-worker who slacks and bootlicks his way up the rungs of promotion while the others, working with their heart and soul gets nothing in the end but more work?

I guess we have to be honest with ourselves and look around us. It does not always go well for good people and badly for bad people. Look around you, thats not happening at all. We have to look and turn to God for an answer to all this. This book explores the issues of suffering in a biblical point of view in the book of Job.

I guess thats why i'm reading this book :) hope to finish this book soon and prehaps be able to provide some insights here to you guys..

The Terry Fox Run

2005-09-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

Anybody up for it?? Its a 4km or 7.5km run.. sounds easy enough doesn't it? It will be on the 18th of this month by the way. :)

Its takes two to tango

2005-09-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

Finally had a chance to take an off day today to attempt my driving test for the third time.. yes.. for the third time.. which is considered quite pathetic for a guy.. ahh..

I also found out today that when people are facing a similar crisis e.g. driving test, total strangers would even talk to each other to loosen some nerves.. smile at each other and comment abit about how nervous they are.. typical humans eh? Humans would only come together in times of crisis and ignore each other in just about any other time. I guess i'm the cooler of the whole lot, maybe for the fact that this is my third time *ahem*.. or i keep telling myself that why should i fear a man when i should instead fear god? That helps a lot but thats the truth :)

Drove around feeling proud of myself.. made no mistakes in the circuit and got zero demerit points. Felt a bit pissed off though by the tester ramblings about how i was not following his instructions to go faster. At one point of time, i thought he contradicted himself.. he said 'I want you to go faster because there's heavy traffic in the circuit'. Duh?!? Shoulden't it be the other way around? Didn't the rules say that one must drive slower when there's heavy traffic? He really needs to get his brain in that balding head of his examined one of these days. I drove pretty well on the road outside and i admit i made a couple of judgement errors that could be easily overlooked and resolved, but i'm sure it would not even be a major criteria for a failure. I drove back to the centre feeling happy and proud that i have passed but however the slow driving thingie clung on like a leech and he marked out ALL the boxes on the paper for slow driving!! That does it. In my previous two attempts, i've never got marked for slow driving before except a couple boxes for insufficient acceleration which amounts only to four points only. But ALL the boxes for ALL the slow driving stuff?? I think thats a bit too much already. That adds up close to twenty points already.. gulp.

I also felt pissed off because he also marked all the boxes for not checking blind spots..what the !?! .. really.. it sure feels sucky to be accused of something when you did not make that mistake in the first place. But ALL the boxes?!? thats getting outboard and easily adds up close to thirty points.

If i were a sucky driver who deserved to fail, i would be a gentleman and graciously admit that it was my fault and that i deserved to fail. But i felt i have done no major mistakes and everything went pretty smoothly. A good-natured tester would have easily passed me this time. Even my instructor said i was not able to drive fast enough for that particular tester standards and i could have easily passed with other testers. Well.. if you want to be a chiongster, it doesn't mean i have to be one right? Thats why there's still so many road accidents in singapore and he should have his traffic police vocation revoked.

Nevermind, no excuses for my failure and i shall take it in my stride like a man. One more attempt to go. Just felt sad that i busted all my current month's army allowance on this. It just need to take a jackass tester to louse everything up.
Hope i never kena him as a tester again.

good riddance

2005-08-28T01:09:00.000-07:00

well guys.. i guess its time for a change... the last skin may have become a sight for sore eyes already.. shall use a minimalist skin this time.. no unsightly pictures.. no over-fanciful motifs.. just this will do.
Was choosing between green, pink and blue.. i shall put green for now. The rest of the editing will have to wait after my duty on sunday... oh man.. that sucks.

homerun

2005-08-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

mm.. i think i just forgotten something. I forgotten that there was fireworks tonight by the france team!!! aww.. darn it.

well.. at least i didn't waste this sunday doing nothing. Had another circuit driving lessons today in a different setting. Usually i would do the circuit at night when there were not much cars to hinder me.. but today was a different experience all around. Had it at noon and there were like soooo many cars. My nissan sunny or rather my instructor's stuck out like a sore thumb in the midst of so many honda civics.. hee :P anyway.. gonna prove them i'm not a newbie!.. so i drove faster and executed my maneuvers faster than usual today.. and also had my fair share of mistakes. mm.. i think i shall have to practice more.. darn it.
for some reasons.. i think i saw a lot more female drivers today.. hee :) the sudden totesterone and adrenaline rush induced me to attempt to drive even more 'professionally' .. haiz.. the male ego rears its ugly head again.....by the way.. last friday.. i saw this car decal that says 'Please horn if your are horny' mm.. cool isn't it? I shall get one of this cool decals if i have a car one day :) dream on shall we? hee..

Afterwards went for a run that took me from my home in jurong east to clementi and back.. tiring but shiok nevertherless. I think i'm living pretty unhealthily all this while.. apart from the morning runs in camp.. i think i shall find some time to swim and pop my head in the gym once in a while.. wonder if i could use ngee ann swimming pool? its a pity that i do not have the luxury of having a park close to my place.. like east coast park. imagine running in a nice pt attire, wearing oakley sunglasses.. past beaches and in a park where there are lots of people.. especially babes :) definitely a motivation factor to run even faster and further... hee.. the male ego has reared its ugly head a second time.. haa..

Anyone wants to go for the Standard Chartered Marathon this december? Don't worry.. lets just do the 10km run shall we? hee.. as a motivation plus point, i'm sure there will be babes again.. hehe.. so all you hot-blooded males out there.. whatcha waiting for? :)

Ahem.. pls make your presence known in the shoutbox if you are interested.. hee for girls.. well.. im sure there are hunks as well.. :)

national day

2005-08-09T22:10:00.000-07:00

Exactly 1 year from now, on this same day.. i will be watching the national day celebrations as a free man. As i will be ord'ing on 8/8/06.. one day before the 41th national day. No more early morning runs.. no more army crap.. no more enduring shit from specialists or sergeants

Happy 40th birthday Singapore..

*wheres my chocolate bar?!?* :(

just a pic

2005-08-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

I'm the 4th from the left.. *proud to be in the company with a commando as our CSM*

found this picture while browsing through my friendster.. really brings back some nostalgic moments tho.. :) BMT passing out parade.. 06 Sept 05.. saw a few poly friends there... some came to see their friends who pop'd on the same day as me.. and some were also recruits like me. But its nowhere comparable to the Officers' Commissioning Parade, officers toss peak caps.. recruits toss jockey caps.. haha.. pathetic..

regrets

2005-07-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

Its been some time since i last blogged. Thats because my cable internet kicked the bucket a couple of weeks back, couldn't pay the bills so got cutted off.. ahh.... so got to rely on my sis's laptop to log on to the internet wirelessly. (By being a parasite, we logged on to some neighbour's wireless network.. so its free internet for now.. :P)

At different points of life, we sometimes do things that we regret later on, but i don't think i have done something i have regreted before.. but however there were many occasions that i regret not doing something. Like on this fateful day in Sept 2004 in BMTC sch 2 pegasus company platoon 2 office. It was the final interview for all recruits to finally decide where they might be posted to after BMT. This was roughly the conversation between my pc and me at the moment.. to the best of my memory.. no flavouring of any kind.

PC: I find that your character is quite good, your peer appraisal is ok.. i'm pushing you for Sispec and even better OCS. Do you want to go?

Me: No sir, i don't want to go to both.

PC: Why?

Me: Sir, I'm very sick of the army and i hate field camp.

PC: How come? Don't you like camping?

Me: Yes Sir, but not when i have to wake up so early every morning..can't bath for days .. hug a rifle to sleep.. at least during school camp, i can do anything i want.. wake up anytime and there are girls.. :)

PC: *rolls eyeballs* Knock it down and give me 20!!

Me: *scrambles to pushup position* One Sir! .. Two Sir! .... Three Sir... !

Well.. the rest is history.

Being at Alex's commissioning parade really invokes some nostalgic memories. I saw my primary sch friends..my poly coursemates.. my BMT platoon mates.. all of them commissioned as officers. How about me? When people's expectations was that i would make it to OCS and be an officer, i chose to bug out. I had to reply No.

Sometimes, i just really look down on myself.. why did i made that decision? At most points of my life, i was either indecisive or made wrong decisions.. or i just can't remember the times i really made good decisions.

Looking at the commisioning parade... slow march into the audience at the tune of auld lang syne.. fixing on of officer's epaulettes.. tossing of peak caps.. .... the point where i really felt at a loss for words was when i was shaking my BMT platoon mates' hands.. seeing their jubilant faces.. ... when i could be one of them at that point of time if i had chosen to said yes.

To the commissioned officers of 57/04, best wishes and esprit de corps. Sirs.

From your obedient soldier.

woes, worries n options

2005-07-16T17:00:00.000-07:00

woes, worries and options

went to bid fiona goodbye yesterday night at the airport... another friend going off to down under for a university education. Some of the guys also mentioned going there for their studies after their ord. I couldn't help wondering what would i end up doing after ord. I also couldn't help it when the thought of fiona would be back with a degree after even before i ord crossed my mind. The truth just sucks doesn't it?

This is clearly a government conspiracy to brainwash financially-strapped polytechnic guys in the army so that when they ord, they would forget whatever they learn, couldnt make it to university and then forever work as slaves for jc students. We need cheap labour don't we? thats where we come in. (Don't mind me.. i'm just creating a lighter moment out of my woes :)

hee.. long time haven't went to the airport since the last time where we sent audrey off to scotland for attachment (lucky you!!).. looking at all the cities flipping on the big black thingie (i dunno what is it called) or on the tv monitors.. i wonder when would i have a chance to take a plane overseas. (no malaysia pls) .. SAFPU... PLS GO TO TAIWAN FOR TRAINING!! AARGGHH .. let me have an all expenses paid trip to taiwan on the account that i never took a plane before? :)

Woke up rather early today at 6.30am which is pretty unusual. But went to snooze mode and woke up an hour later :( Hurriedly went down to the petrol kiosk to get a copy of today's straits times to cut out the entry form for the Mazda6 lucky draw. My mind nearly went into the frenzy trying to solve the last sentence of the riddle and in the end found the answer on the internet :) duh.. Hurriedly pieced and pasted the alphabets that i have so painstakenly collected over the last 2 weeks and hurried to the location of the Mazda6 which is east coast park!! You should have seen the sea of people there.. oh no.. more competitors :( in the end, the car was won by a lady.. *sob sob* and she already has a car!! crapz.. maybe they should make lucky draws only for poor people. *grumble* its just like people turning up in mercedes to collect free textbooks for their children. They should have a law to ban such people from this events... *evil*

Anyway.. i believe god has a plan for me and he is working out my plan for me in ways that i will never know. Amen :)

A blog

2005-07-03T01:35:00.000-07:00

In the past, there were online dairies.. now they are more infamously known as weblogs or blogs in short. Blogs are useful ways to communicate online with others, regardless of friends or strangers, your 2 cents views on various issues disturbing our daily lives, whether it be the 'garmen' announcing some undesirable news like the recent bus fares hike or that the uncle at the kopitaim downstairs is using too little lard in his char kuay teow due to the healthy eating campaign. I still think blogs are most effective in keeping the fire alight in our friendship.

All of us are either working our butts off.. or burning the midnight oil in our hostels or just condemned to serving the country like chickens condemned in sengchoon egg farm to continuously lay eggs for the rest of their lives. By blogging, we can find out how our friends are doing in their daily lives, which friend need a shoulder to cry on, which friend need a listening ear or which friend who just deserves a pat on the back for a job well done or the occasional friend who deserves a kick in the arse.

So keep blogging will ya? :)

financial woes

2005-06-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

Somehow for some uncanny reason.. i always end up broke towards the end of the month without saving anything.
No matter how much i tried to save.. like not eating breakfast at the canteen.. eat cookhouse food all the time.. try not to go clubbing.. so on and so forth.. i always end up with less than $50 at the end of the month. I don't buy clothes (that explains why im usually wearing the same clothes all the time to the point where i'm getting bored with myself) and all those fancy gadgets like mp3 players..camera handphones.. so where is my money going to..? Beats me. I always see others buying new stuff for themselves.. but they never seem to run out of money... haha :P
I should really write a budget down on paper and adhere to it.. and do a expenditures/savings account to ascertain where my money is going to. Thats one way to account for my financial woes for the time being :)

There are some things that i wanted to get for a very long time but never had the financial capability to get one yet.

Top of the List
1) A DSLR.
I agree that this costs a bit too much for me.. considering that the cheapest is the Olympus E300 at around $1600. The ones i wanted to get are all at the $1900 range. Theres nothing worse than having the interest and passion for something and yet you are unable to go about doing something for it.
Maybe a 2nd-hand would suffice for the moment for a novice like me.

2) A road bike.
At least on weekends, i can still go cycling around singapore. Maybe even join SACA and participate in some roadrace or something.. something to keep fit at the same time too. A decent road bike would at least be in the $600 - $1000 range. Pretty expensive but at least its a worthy investment for healthy living :)

Lastly 3) A pair of shoes
I think my present pair of sneakers is wearing out pretty fast, considering i've worn it since poly year 2.. my feet is starting to get wet every rainy day already :(

save save save.. i foresee more hungry mornings and less spending on food. In a way.. i won't get fatter too.

thoughts..

2005-06-26T01:40:00.000-07:00

Feeling pretty messed up today.. guess what. I went to the ATM to widthdraw some money this afternoon. After taking the card out from the machine and then instead of taking the money.. i just left nonchanlantly. I plain forgotten to take the money. I guess whoever comes to use the ATM after me is $20 richer. Lucky guy :)
Afterwhich, i went to Island Creamery at Serene Centre to get some icecream. I got myself a homemade single scoop mango icecream on a cone.. Audrey!! see this.. its MANGO!!! .. its pretty good actually, if theres a chance.. i will bring you guys here. Then while walking happily to the bus stop, licking my icecream with the enthusiasm of a 3 year old kid.. the mango icecream suddently took a leap off the cone. In the end.. the sidewalk had the last laugh and ate the icecream by itself. poor lil' mango icecream spend the rest of its life melting slowly into a pool of viscous yellowish pool of mango under the afternoon sun. Crapz... Today is certainly not my day.

Indeed..saw the NTU appeal letter when i came home from duty today. The letter felt abit thin.. i guess i don't need to elaborate any further on the appeal outcome. You guys should know the answer already. NUS and NTU.. goodbye to both of you for now.

Sometimes you guys might find that i'm always bitching about my life.. about why i can't make it to local university.. why i can't go overseas university.. why i don't want to get a correspondent university degree like with MDIS.. why i don't want to go SIM.. and why am i closing doors on myself like fiona told me once. But i shall speak out my heart tonight and share with you guys my thoughts and whims.

My grades have always been Bs all the time.. except for the last semester where i actually put in a wee bit more effort to scare all As except for one. Think about it.. in my first year where i failed my maths.. i actually retook the module the next semester on top of my usual modules, meaning i had 1 extra module and exam to tackle.. still i manage to clear everything and restart on a clean slate to graduate with everyone at the same time. How many people you know actually did that?

With my GPA of 3.14... its neither here or there. Although i have a fantastic CCA record, it doesn't matter anymore. People without any CCA records can make it to university too. I've tried the singular talent admission criteria thingy (or what is it called?).. but it did not work. I still got rejected by NUS/NTU in both initial applications and appeals for 2 years.

Next, why i don't go aussie university. Its a monetary thing. My parents can't even pay for normal household bills sometimes. Ever tried waking up in the morning to find water doesn't flow from the tap? So it means i have to take a bank loan in order to go overseas which also means i will have to spend most of my life after graduating to repay my loans.(considering i still have a poly loan to repay)When will i be financially independant?? I'm already technically considered a bankrupt. I do not have the luxury of parents paying for my education which some people do. I dunno how long i will take to repay my loans.. i'm a man.. i have the resposibility in the family. How can i settle down when i not even financially stable? How long will i take to be financially stable? I might be thinking too far here.. i don't even have a relationship yet.

Fiona, thanks for telling me about the CQU degree course your friend took. It gave me more options to ponder on :) But.. i decided against taking it. Firstly, its not recognized...nobody ever heard of a Central Queensland University. It does not matter if the exams are hard.. its still theoretical stuff.. do they provide me quality laboratory hands-on? Even NP have better lab facilities. You mentioned your prof said that any bio degree is sufficient. But that only works if you are the only person applying for that job. How do i compete with other potential candidates holding NUS/NTU degrees, Unimelb/UQ degrees? Audrey.. Thanks for introducing me UWA degrees at PSB too.. :)

Why i don't go SIM?.. simple.. im not interested in business. Unless i convince myself in the near future.. i might. :)

In conclusion, i'm a person who thinks alot about the decisions that could possibly turn my life around for better or for worse. I'm don't simply just close doors on myself without giving much thought about them. I do consider my options and continue looking for more. I practically think about all this everyday.. yes .. i mean everyday. Sometimes i wish i was a more simple-minded person... i guess i would be more happy :)

1 year left before ORD to think. Please leave me some comments for me to think too.
*ThAnKs~

appeal

2005-06-19T22:36:00.000-07:00

never read an appeal letter reply before? heres your chance :P

APPEAL FOR ADMISSION TO THE NATIONAL UNIVERSITY OF SINGAPORE ACADEMIC YEAR 2005-2006

I regret to inform you that your appeal for admission to National University of Singapore (NUS) has not been successful.

Please be assured that our Appeals Committee has given your appeal very careful and thorough consideration. We have re-evaluated your application, paying close attention to your strengths and expressed interest, and reviewed our decision made earlier. Unfortunately, the competition for admission is extremely keen this year and owing to the limited number of places available, we have to disappoint many promising students such as you.

We thank you for taking your time to submit this appeal and wish you the very best in your future endeavours.

Your sincerely,
Assoc Prof Tan Thiam Soon
Dean of Admissions

mm.. another one bites the dust. Sigh...

condolences

2005-06-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

Recently, a member of our SAFPU family has left us. Although i don't know him at all.. he was part of S3 branch before i came. I must have met him somewhere in camp before but i don't recall how he look like at all. I must have at least done duty with him once, went running with our SAFPU family every week or even seen him when he comes down to our office to collect stuff.. but my memory fails me. Sometimes when i think of it.. i feel so sad. A young officer in our SAFPU family was diagnosed with leukemia ... a few weeks before his ORD.

I just want to say 'Goodbye Sir, our small but united SAFPU family will miss you.'

I pray that God will look after his family and that you will accompany them through this difficult phase of time where they would need encouragement and support the most. Amen.

Nowadays if you look at the google box, there would always be advertisements and shows depicting cancer patients.. just like the show that ended just now. The 9pm show on tv 'youfu'. Has our lifestyle changed drastically from the past? Why do we always fall sick so easily nowadays? For the rest of us that are still living healthily, maybe its high time we should take account of our lives.. and spend more quality time with our friends and loved ones and with God.
You never know when disaster might struck.

Think about it.

this came in the mail

2005-06-06T22:20:00.000-07:00

this came in the mail on sat..

Dear Mr Tan

APPLICATION FOR ADMISSION TO NANYANG TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY IN ACADEMIC YEAR 2005-06

Thank you for your application and your interest in studying at our university.

We appreciate the time and effort you took in applying to us. Each application we recieve has its merits. With the record number of applications we recieved this year, competition for limited places has been very strong.

We have reviewed your application thoroughly but regret to inform yout that you have not been successful in your application. We assure you that the University Selection Committee had considered your application to the fullest extent before arriving at this difficult decision.

With best wishes.

Yours sincerely,

Prof Lun Kwok Chan

Dean of Admissions

Ironically, in my mind, this letters appears to be an exact replica of the letter i recieved last year. Even the signature by the Dean seemed to be photocopied.

Thats assurance and sincerity for you.

once again

2005-06-05T23:45:00.000-07:00

once again.. i'm suffering from writer's block for some time .. mm or should i say blogger's block.. hee..
nvm.. well im back again..
miss you guys~~!! although its for one week only.. sorry that i could not make it for yesterday outing for ktv.. havent sing ktv with you guys for quite a long time already.. still missing that melodious vocals of audrey .. 'b.a.d' songs by siewling... and so on and so on.. no pun intended okie!! you guys really sing well.. !! hee :) at least you guys won't have to endure my monotonous.. squeaky singing of jacky cheung's old time sad songs... haa..

Had a 1.5 day church camp or rather a guys retreat to discuss issues facing men in this modern day society in a biblical perspective. I've learned that its not always about me me me.. in modern day context, its always about me.. me want to do this.. me want to do that... its not always about I.. me.. aloysius. We have been become so caught up in this rat race and the momentum for the society that we have grudually excluded god from our lives to the point that we do not even realise it. Its high time for to stop in our tracks and considered the irony of the situation. Although inevitably we will be caught up in our work to provide for our loved ones.. we must still have a healthy balance in order to maintain a life dedicated to serving god's people.
I've learned much and i thank you guys for all the guidance and help.. kudos!

mm.. sunday comes again... at the back of your head... i'm suddently reminded of the terrible fact that tomorrow is a monday.

Sadly.....Reality has reared its ugly head again.

fable

2005-05-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

A fable is a animal story that usually tells us a lesson in life. Below is one story which i found rather applicable to me... and maybe for you.. just read on :)

The Moth and the Star

A young impressionable moth once set his heart on a certain star. He told his mother and she counselled him to set his heart on the street lamp instead.
'Stars aren't the thing to hang around, lamps are the things to hang around, you will get somewhere this way'
His father said 'You won't get anywhere chasing stars'
But the moth would not heed his parent's words and every evening at dusk when the star came out, he would start flying towards it. Every morning at dawn he would crawl back home worn out with his vain endeavour.
One day his father said to him 'Look at you! you haven't burned a wing in months and it looks like you were never going to. All your brothers and sisters have been burned and singed flying around street lamps. Now get out of here and get yourself scorched! A big strapping moth without a scorch mark on him!'
He left the house but he would not fly around street lamps. He went right on trying to reach the star which was four and one-third light years away or twenty-five trillion miles away.
The moth thought that the star was caught in the top branches of a tree. He never did reach the star but he kept on trying, night after night, and when he became a very old moth, he began to think that he had really reached the star and he went around saying so.
That gave him a deep and lasting pleasuer and he lived to a ripe old age. His parents and all his brothers and sisters had all been burnt to death when they were still young.

Moral of the Story
'Who flies afar from the sphere of our sorrow is here today and here tomorrow'

Basically it means to leave our well-trodden path in life and our old miserable ways and to try something new and make turn somewhere along the road. It might have unexpected results that might be just what you want.

Just my 2 cents, heres food for thought :)

2005-05-07T00:15:00.000-07:00

'I Love You' - Sarah Mclachlan
I have a smile
Stretched from ear to ear
To see you walking down the road
We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
The world around disappears

Just you and me
On this island of hope
A breath between us could be miles
Let me surround you
My sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek
Oh and every time
I’m close to you
There's too much
I can’t say
And you just walk away
And I forgot
To tell youI love you
And the night’sToo long
And cold here
Without you
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the strength to say
I need you soOh

During my secondary school times, i've always listen to this song whenever i'm feeling down and depressed. Its sounds even more emotional than 'Angel' and the mood just suits more to me lah. I'm always the depressed sort in secondary school because i'm always this ugly nerdy specky guy with hair combed with a comb with lots of water and gel. Girls will like go EEeee.. it happened once though. It wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling. You will feel the same too when someone walks up to you and tell you earnestly in the face that you look disgusting.

Well.. time passes and it seems like eons have gone by without a reminder. People changes and so have i. Life's experiences have inevitably taken a toll on me and im constantly adapting. That explains the constant reading up and self-upgrading i'm trying to do now. I resolved to work hard and even harder than anybody. Mark my words. All talk and no action is nothing. I will do something.

One of this days i'm gonna get crazy with all the thinking :P

the letter..

2005-05-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

*writing this blog to the tune of 'i love you' by Sarah Mclachlan*
*Disclaimer* - This blog is not meant to attract or invite any form of pity or sarcasm. This is just an attempt on my part to convince myself to work even harder. Thanks.

got this in the mailbox today.. wasn't exactly my day

APPLICATION FOR ADMISSION TO THE NATIONAL UNIVERSITY OF SINGAPORE IN THE ACADEMIC YEAR 2005-2006

Thank you for applying to NUS.

Due to the extremely tough competition, I am sorry that your application for admission to National University of Singapore (NUS) has not been successful.

Please be assured that your application was treated carefully and throughly. Admission to NUS is very competitive as a large number of talented students, such as you, apply each year. However, the number of places for the course you have applied is limited and hence, we have arrived at this very difficult decision.

We appreciate your interest in NUS and wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

Yours sincerely

Assoc Prof Tan Thiam Soon
Dean of Admissions

Somehow.. this letter is the exact replica of the same rejection letter i recieved last year. Upon recieving this letter, i felt bitterness and sadness at having been rejected of the chance to study. I have the heart to study... yet i do not have the chance. So if you guys were given the chance, treasure it please. Thanks a million.

To the other souls out there on this night having the same predicament as me.. do not despair because if theres a will.. theres a way. God Bless :)

the rat race

2005-05-02T23:10:00.000-07:00

Recieved a call this morning, informing me that there might be a ops this afternoon... so i went to iron my no4.. prepare my tis tat misc stuffie ... bath.... and fold my no 4 nicely.. so that i can throw everything into my duffel bag once i got the activaiton..

The activation never came.. *grumble*

Anyway... at least i can still spend the nite sleeping at home :) sometimes i wonder why i don't play computer games like what other guys do... i guess i've grown out of it.. i sometimes do play some games that appeal to me.. like wwII genres .. but i don't belive in interacting with the computer. Spending hours interacting with the computer in games.... no way.
Surfing the net is an entirely different ball game... you do not interact with the computer entirely... you still get to interact with real people on msn at least.. :)

Carried on reading my 'personal financial planning' book. Finished the chapters on liquid assets management and credit management. the only liquid asset that i have would be my savings deposit.. argh. It would be sufficient for me at the moment for my planned expenditures but it gives the least interests as compared to other liquid assets like fixed deposits and ACU deposits etc. So far i managed to grasp roughly the gist of Asian Currency Unit (ACU) Deposits. I nearly went crazy staring at the figures and formulas. Anyway, it has to do with buying foreign currency, wait till maturity and compute the interest based on the appreciation(depreciates) against the Singapore dollar amd the bid(ask) quotes of the particular bank you chose to invest with. I do not think i would have the money and the sufficient know-how yet for this kind of investment... so i guess its good at least i made an effort to know something about it.

Credit management... i have one too. That would be my poly tuition fee loan that would be payable upon my ORD date. mm.. now i wonder whether it was a monthly-rest loan.. or is it not?? The monthly-rest loan is the cheapest compared to the rest according to the book.
really learn alot from this book... hightly recommended for you peepz out there. I also placed another reservation for 'financial planner's view on MLM' from the library. Althought i have reservations about MLM.. but before i condemn it or it proves me wrong.. i must read it up and understand the big picture. I'm not letting people tempt me by telling me that through MLM, youngsters like me have made it rich. I still belive in working hard to earn your keep. Convince me and i might even work hard at MLM. Right now, i'm still a skeptic.

Sometimes i wonder how come i don't think of all this financial stuff when i was younger. Come to think of it, i'm really wasting my time in secondary school and polytechnic. Plain wasted. I've to try harder to catch up on the lost time. At least this 2 years of NS woulden't be such a drag and a waste. I must really make my life worthwhile from now onwards. mark my words.

Got a friend who started out when he was 14 and have earned US$60,000 last year alone. Read more about it at http://youth.zaobao.com/pages2/people050404.html heres also the webhost he created, www.27hosting.com
Felt that im sooo pathetic compared to him. Having accomplished much already and me? nothing... plain pathetic. i need to work doubly hard. Thats why i work so hard at work nowadays. I'm going to get promoted before my cohort. Thats my goal.
But i have something he doesn't have. I have God in my life :) Amen.
In spite of all the goals and whatsoever workplan i'm going to have, there will always still be a place for God :)

cya all laterz ..

personal financial management

2005-04-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

mm.. another sunday... somehow sundays can't be really enjoyed because at the back of your head, you will keep thinking that the next day is a monday. Reality bites..

went for dinner at adam rd foodie center with desmond, aaron and alan yesterday after service .. as usual had my favorite mutton soup :) .. had a really interesting and thought-provoking conversation over dinner... was talking about business... personal financial management.... the SIA management and stuff... business degrees at SMU/NUS... and stuff..
although i noe nuts about business and stuff... but i was captivated by the content of the conversation..

just picked up a book recently entitled 'personal financial planning' written by SMU professors.
finished reading 2 chapters of it and luckily i still had some accounting background, thus was still able to conprehend most of what i was reading.. balance sheet, profit and loss account, expenditures, deficits, surplus, cash budget.... suddently... all my accounting knowledge gained in sec school starts to flow back.... after reading this book.. it made me deeply realised what a fool i was in controlling my financial resources and cashflow...
Technically, i could be considered a bankrupt now. My net worth is unthinkable..
Gonna start seriously taking account of my finances.... seriously.. with discipline. .. Anyway many thanks to desmond for recommending me this book and to aaron for his insights.. :) was enlightening to a greenhorn like me.. hee

the previous work week was pretty much a disaster .. hope history does not repeat itself.. im still workin hard and doin my best... no matter what others might think :)

In Christ

ponder..

2005-04-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

*ponder*
by this time, the outcome should have been very clear... a unmistakable and inevitable rejection from the local universities. It would take a miracle from god to change everything.
Right now, i have to make decisions.
1 - Work a year or two and apply for local universities under CatB again. (CatC is unthinkable)
2 - Loan and study at PSB for a biotech degree from University of Western Australia
3 - Change mindset and go for business degrees from SIM
4 - Work happily as a lab tech with a diploma
5 - Get any degree and be a police inspector

I guess most likely got for 1 ... right now gathering all testimonials i could to prepare myself for my last ditch attempt at the appeals....

Thank you Dr Koh for the testimonial you wrote me.... thanks.. :) appreciate it ..

another day

2005-04-13T04:04:00.000-07:00

another day.. another day of waiting..
still waiting for that much awaited offer of admission letter from nus/ntu.
now... the chances are rapidly turning into waiting for the rejection of application letter from nus/ntu.

mark my words.

hi again

2005-03-27T23:45:00.000-08:00

im back finally... after being missing for soooo long...
juz finished a book by stephen e.ambrose... the title was 'the wild blue' .. the book is about the lives of the men and boys who flew the B-24 in WWII.. veri nice story.. thumbs up :) real life accounts of the pilots and the crew.. how they saw their comrades getting shot at... getting their planes ripped apart by flak.. gettin themselves killed.... about all the dangers in the air.. its seriously a good non-fiction book for guys... pilots wannabes.. mm.. theres parts in the book that mentioned about accidents in the air and even on the ground that got the entire plane's crew killed without being shot at by the enemy..... one scene was one B-24 somehow ended up on top on another B-24 and dropped its bombs on the poor fella... the other plane disintegrated of cos.. sad.. :(
speakin of planes.... there goes my wings and rank... i will never be a pilot forever and ever.. :(
stupid spectacles and my stoopid eyes!! .. shouldent have worn specs in the first place..
tomolo is another day of work.. i will continue to do my best... and hope i will get screwed less often.. hee :P
found new chillout spots... hoping to share them with u.. :)
Boardgaming cafes:
1 - Oasis at Bugis
2 - Settlers Cafe at Holland V ..
Drinking holes:
1 - Essential Brew at Holland V ( nice comfy cushions! )
Eating place:
1 - Crustacean at Holland V ( nice ambience and fishies!! )

feel like gettin a bicycle.. so at least i can go cycling around at nite... for foodies... and other watsoever i decide to do... a cheaper alternative of car.. hah.. still learnin anyway.. and runnin my bank account dry... so ex!! ARGH.. ... ..

i dunno when im gonna get my camera... :( sob.. so many things to get.. so little money.. darn ns!
hee.. :P
cya..

UNI!!

2005-03-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

I WANT TO GO UNI!! WHY CANT I GO?!?
I HAVE THE ENTHUSIASM AND HEART TO STUDY!!! WHY ARE THEY NOT ACCEPTING ME??? WHY ARE THE LOCAL UNVERSITIES LIKE THAT?!? WHY ARE THEY NOT ACCEPTING MORE POLY GRADS LIKE WHAT THEY ALWAYS SAY IN THE NEWSPAPERS?? UNIVERSITIES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AN INSTITUTE OF LEARNING.. AN INSTITUTE OF EDUCATION..!! NOT A @#$ SHOWCASE!! I HAVE THE HEART TO STUDY!!! TEACH ME!!!

i guess its always like that... people who dont deserve to get something will always get it.. while pple who derserve to get somethin will never get it... nvm.. im bitchin too much... but i just don't have the money to go overseas... unlike others who have their parents to pay for them.. i still owe the bank money for my poly fees... still havent paid up..

sorry.............

2005-03-03T04:28:00.000-08:00

heres elva looking at u... :)

2005-03-03T04:26:00.000-08:00

This is the cute little thingie that sucks lint from clothes.. pretty novel stuff aren't it?

argh..

2005-02-27T03:47:00.000-08:00

argh.. my table has just started to get messy... only arranged it a few weeks back.. :(
now its accumulating magazines... comics... n other miscellaneous stuff like toothbrush.. shaver..purfume...cds... books... and recently a lint sucker... yes.. a lint sucker.. mm.. maybe a lint vacuum... its soo kewl.. its a small battery operated device that sucks lint from clothes! heee.. kewl ah? lemme get my sis's 3rd generation camera and i will post some pics of the kewl lil' thingie here.. hee..

anyway.. thanks guys for your big $180 angpow..!! tat means im closer to getting my first DSLR!! yay~! thanks thanks thanks!!! *hugz* den i no need to post pics taken by others liao... hee :)

post new year

2005-02-12T00:12:00.000-08:00

hello pple~ :) hee

mm.. went for punj and service today... the sermon by pastor chia was rather interesting.. was talking about self-interest belief. its kind of true, some pple belive in something just because of their self-gain or just because they will benefit from it. Just like if u are going to go bankrupt, i tell u that i can make u rich again just as long as u belive in me... will u belive in me? im sure u would... some people belive for the sake of beliving... just like pple study for the sake of studyin.. rite? going to church doesnt necessarily make u a christian, just like the analogy that pastor chia gave us, whenever he has a bible study session at his house.. his cat would come alongside and bask and sit in... does that makes the cat a christian cat? haha.. quite a amusing analogy :)
therefore i would have to really understand and belive in christ.. not just belive about him.. mm... anyway.. i need to attend more punj and service to understand more about christ.

now.. its past chinese new year... and i gonna do duty tomolo... haiz.. sunday wasted... heee.. :P but i shall bring some cds and magazines over to accompany me.. and if any of you peeps happen to be reading this... feel free to give me a call.. okie? tok to me!! hee :) otherwise i will really wasting a sunday watching tv and sleeping... hee..

next week is bday week.. yay~! 21 years old liao lo!! still deciding what to do on my bday... hrmm.. organising is such a mafun thingie.. hehe.. nvm.. i will come up with somethin la.. :) anyway.. i hope that you pple out there will have a fruitful and happy new week... enjoy yourselves okie? hee... cya all soon.. nite :)

2005-02-08T03:25:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year Fireworkds 7th Feb ... mm.. not shot by me tho.. hee :P

Chinese New Year Eve

2005-02-08T03:18:00.000-08:00

its chinese new year eve now... but i won't be slackin at home drinking and watching tv all night long like last time... instead i will be in camp drinking fruit juice and watching a smally tv with poor reception..... :(

so if any of u peeps happen to be reading this... pls feel free to call me and keep me company.. haa...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR GUYS and GALS! :)

long time... no post

2005-01-23T22:35:00.000-08:00

sorry sorry sorry guys... have been neglecting my blog for quite some time... a long time to be exact... haiz.. *pat.. pat* *comforts blog* .. hee

somehow... i can think of alot of things to blog about when im oitside.. but by the time i get home and switched on the comp... my mind a total blank once more.. i got short-term memory i guess... speaking of short-term memory.. i keep forgetting the names of my new found church frens.. especially those without an english name... argh! .. help me!! *tears hair in desperation*

actually.. i was supposed to be on duty today.. but changed wif my colleague so that i could go out for the ktv cum shopping cum eating cum chilling out session cum belated bday celebration for our beloved miss fong.. hee :) 21 years old liao... my turn soon in less then a month.. hee.. :) i still havent organise anythin yet... had an idea last time to book a chalet... but with booking out so late and so tired everyday... sometimes my lazy self just refused to cooperate... what to do? i really need to sit down... clear my mind of other stuff.. and start thinkin of what i wanna do... its a 21th bday... a once in a lifetime thingie!! .. must think of something!!! *tears hair in desperation again* mm.. peiyun!.. if you are reading this... u should know what to do wor! .. hehehehe :) can bai chi bai he liao..~! hee.. and for the rest of you peeps out there reading this too.. hee.. need i say more? :)

gonna seriously start to take my driving lessons liao... but the thing is.. they keep saying want to stay in and start cleaning up the office... but till now.. havent start yet... i hope they will never start tho... hehe.. :) den i will have to time to start relearning my driving... hee.. and..

next stop... scuba diving lessons!! .. photography lessons!! ... maybe wakeboarding suggested by our dear mr shawn ... :) cool huh.. i seriously need to start puttin aside some $ for a camera... maybe a 2nd hand camera to practice on first... then after i become better... a decent dslr shall come my way.. hee

i shall end this note on a prayer.. dear heavenly father.. i pray that i will grow spritually in punj and that i will be a part of arpc's family. i pray all my frens and closed ones will lead fruitful lives and be happy always.. amen. :)

signin off..~

another wkend

2005-01-09T07:44:00.000-08:00

once again.. after a long time... i finally decided to show my face.. haa
just went macritchie for a xcountry run.. wah.. ran from macritchie to bukit timah.. i ran like more than 5 klicks and den i walked the rest of the way.. total of like around 10 klicks? man.. was it tiring.... now i feel sore and wobbly.. how am i gonna run 2.4 klicks tomolo man.. haiz..

i also decided to show my face at punj finally..!! went for the first lesson yesterday and met lots of nice frens.. hope to go out with u guys next time! .. it was fun!! .. the ice cream at serene centre (issit? hee) was pretty nice.. and had a interesting conversation over dinner .. :) not mention having yet another conversation at esplanade and merlion park.. hee ..

haiz... got 'windstruck' dvd... but not yet had the opportunity to sit down and watch... been sleepin too much and wasting so much precious time... i think i can put that as one of my another new year's resolution..
i resolved not to sleep so much!!!
hee.. :P really .. sleep so much for what... always taking unnessary naps... :( gettin fatter nowadays.. hee luckily at least i went for the run today.. but i didnt know whether the macdonalds meal afterwards did any help.. haha

ok all... i shall end the note on this.. and.. happy new year guys... (tho its quite long ago liao -_-).. and enjoy the new week... cya all next time! nite !

new year's wish

2005-01-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

i pray that this new year ahead would be a whole lot different from the past... i hope to meet that special someone.. and to be with her.. to accompany me on my life's journey ... for better or for worse.. through thick and thin .. i will always be with her.. be that source of strength she needs.. that shoulder to cry on.. the one to give her a reassuring hug.. and always be there for her... and she will complete my life and i will complete hers. amen :)

*listening to andy lau's "ru guo tian you qing"*
a suitable tune to the above words...

A new beginning

2005-01-02T07:53:00.000-08:00

first post of the new year.. and a whole new beginning.. =)
so what are my new year resolutions? i guess it won't differ much from the ones i set in the last post.. but anyway..... here goes :
1 - i resolve to upgrade myself and take up some courses and lessons
2 - i resolve to do my best in everything i do
3 - i resolve to be less offended by others
4 - i resolve to be more friendly and more thickskinned :)
5 - i resolve to go to chuch and take part in church activities more often
6 - i resolve to be more involved in life's journey

hmm.. not much eh? these resolutions are more being based on character and anything else.. need to constantly improve myself.. cant be that childish immature kid anymore.. nearing 21 lo ..
speaking of turning 21 soon.. i need to think of what to do for my burfday lo.. tink tink tink.. any suggestions? i can only think of usual activities like bbq ..chalet... and stuff... any unique stuff?? :)

dunno why for this past few days... have been getting writers block... thats why i haven't been posting for some time... writers block indeed.. as if im writing some great novel or play.. hee... :P anyway.. i have a hoegaarden by me now and some nice music that im planning to sing at ktv... now is to get into the mood to write more..

i guess sometimes i should veer away and write less about myself and write more on my thoughts and view on life's perspectives.... that would be more interesting woulden't it? mm.. i guess i shall work on that.. hopefully hee.. :)

spend a new year watching people getting sprayed with fake snow.. driving around the neighbourhood at midnight looking for green thorny fruits .. having supper at coffeeshops with the guys.. ktv.. haa.. we still havent come up with new activities yet.. time to think of more places to hang out guys!

hApPy NeW YeAr 2005 to aLL u PeEpZ .. !!